Secret Delights: How to Keep Your Dildo a Secret

The dildos are excellent. Someone else isn’t discovering your dildo.
Ensure that yours are never found again by following this easy guide to storing and hiding your dildos. Discover the best places to hide your dildo, and how to store them.

Before we discuss hiding spots, we need to discuss storage. Too many people just throw their sex toys in a drawer or box and forget about them!

Doing this can be bad for a couple of reasons. You might, first of all, destroy your dildo! It might get squashed, scratched, or even snapped as you throw other objects into the same place.

Second, leaving sex toys uncovered can give bacteria and dust a chance to build up on the surface. Then the next time you try and use it, you could be in for a nasty surprise.

Similarly, if you store lots of sex toys in the same place, there’s a chance they even damage each other. Even silicone, which is usually thought of as a great material, can react with other silicone toys and slowly start to melt.
To keep your toys in tip-top condition, we have one, simple piece of advice:

Each toy should be kept apart in a cotton pouch or ziploc bag.
Oh, and clean them before you put them away… Please?

Top Secret Hiding Spots

Alright, so you’ve got it in its own little baggie, and you need a place to stash it so your parents, children, or roommates don’t find it. Where do you put it?
For maximum security, our top hiding spot is behind a lock. This could either be in a safe or lockbox. Either way, if you’ve got the key there’s no chance of someone unexpectedly stumbling upon it.

Of course, we don’t all have a safe lying around. Especially since most people reading this will be in shared houses. So where else is good?
Even though it’s highly unlikely that your dildo will be discovered, the next two hiding spots on our list are still excellent choices. These are suitcases and inside your socks.

Suitcases are great because nobody really looks in them unless they’re going on holiday. So as long as you don’t have a trip coming up soon, it’s unlikely anyone will even think to look in there. It’s also perfect for longer toys, like double dildos, since suitcases are large and spacious.
Inside your socks is similar. It’s improbable that someone will raid your sock drawer, but it’s improbable that they’ll begin unfolding each pair to see what’s inside… Although maybe this isn’t the best advice if someone else does your washing for you!

Less Obvious Hiding Spots

If our top-secret spots aren’t ideal for you, then there are still plenty of options. Though there’s a slight increase in the chance of your dildo being found in one of these locations, it’s still preferable to leave it out in the open!

• In a drawer. Preferably one that doesn’t get used that much.
• In or under your bed. That’s where you use it after all!
• Underneath furniture. Just make sure to move it if someone is on a cleaning spree.
• In a storage cube. These usually stack, so you can put it in the bottom cube and have more time to intervene before someone finds it.
• In a shoebox. Seriously how often have you gone through someone else’s shoebox?
• In a poster tube. These are great options as they’re discreet, in the right shape, and quite easy to hide out of sight.
• In a coat pocket inside your closet. Especially good if it’s a coat you don’t wear often.

Whichever hiding spot you choose, make sure you think about your own circumstances too! Underneath the furniture might seem like a great idea, until you remember your parents hoover your room once a week. Similarly, a coat pocket might be a good idea, unless your roommate likes to borrow your clothes!

Ultimately, the key here is to find a hiding spot that suits the size of your sex toys. A high shelf or hidden compartment can serve as a great hiding place if you own a large dildo. Obviously because of their size, massive dildos need a larger hiding spot, such as an unused box or a suitcase. Your hiding options are considerably much wider if you are using a mini dildo —heck, as long as it’s in a plastic bag or a cotton pouch, you might even fit it inside an old shoe!

Other Options

Still want more? Well, We inquired with a few individuals to find out where they had previously hidden their sex toys. They said the following:

One day, I took one of my best friend’s high school marijuana-smoking boxes and put my dildo in it to put on my shelf. She smoked a lot of pot and kept it hidden in these fake book-shaped boxes that you could put on your bookshelf. I doubt she ever noticed, she had so many.

“I put mine in the box with my tampons. My mom preferred pads, and I only had brothers, so it was like, the one place in the house that nobody ever looked except me. It was a tiny little bullet thing, so it was pretty much the same size and shape as the rest of the tampons.
At first, I used to take extra care and wrapped it up in an old wrapper, so nobody would notice the different color, but eventually, I realized nobody was looking and just threw it back in the box after I used it”

“My best friend in high school smoked a lot of pot and she hid it in these boxes that were shaped like fake books that you could put on your bookshelf, but they were hollow inside for storing stuff
I just took one of hers one day and put my dildo in it and put it on my shelf. She had so many I don’t think she ever noticed”

“Due to its size, one of my toys, a double-ended dildo, was a little difficult to hide I hid the toy in an old, long boot box I discovered in the closet.
Nobody ever asked why I still owned those old boots, and the box was the ideal length.”

“When I went off to college, I was really into movies so I brought all these movie posters to hang in my dorm room. I simply placed my dildo inside the empty poster tube after I had hung them all up.”

“I had this tentacle dildo, which was difficult to hide due to its elaborate shape.. I had to put it in a shoebox and shoved it under my bed afterward, amongst my other shoeboxes.
I’ve hidden my dildos like that ever since. Someone nosy enough to go through those boxes will be surprised once they find a monster dildo or a dragon dildo inside.”

“At first, I placed it inside a water bottle I carried with me on runs. However, my friend asked, “Why is this so heavy?” when she picked up the bottle while we were out for a run one day.
I quickly came up with an excuse, stating that the water had frozen because I must have unintentionally left it in the freezer overnight. Though I doubt she was convinced, at least she refrained from opening the bottle to make sure. After that, I took it to my bedroom and stored it in a drawer because I could never trust the water bottle again! I was too afraid.!”

“I own a sizable collection of dildos, all shaped like animals! I try to add dog or wolf dildos to my collection, as long as they resemble a dog’s penis. I only really like knotted and dog-shaped dildos because I get stimulation from their slightly pointed heads, but I keep them inside my closet because I don’t want my friends to think that I’m into bestiality.
Since my closet nearly reaches the ceiling, I simply place them in the highest section and shoo them as far back as I can to keep my secret hidden from even the most curious neighbor.. ”

“You won’t believe this, but I had the most difficult setup ever. I proceeded to open the rear of my computer, not the monitor; rather, the computer itself. This was back in the days when computers were large, heavy devices that took up the whole area beneath a desk.
In order to make my dildo invisible in the dark, I opened the panel in the back that held all of the wires and placed it inside a black bag. I then only reinstalled one screw so that I wouldn’t have to remove the entire thing in order to reach inside the hole and grab the dildo.
However, I was still afraid, so I put a big sign saying something like DON’T TOUCH OR ELSE on it because, as a teenager, I thought my parents would really take such petty threats seriously.
Yes, I think they found it, or at least realized I was hiding something behind that. Now that I think about it, they were probably just relieved that it wasn’t beer or marijuana..”

It’s Really Easy to Hide Lube, Too!

If your setup needs to be discreet, then there’s a good chance you’ll want to hide your lube as well.

A lot of lubricants come in small, unmarked pouches, so it’s as easy as taking them out of the box they came in and putting them somewhere out of sight. Just make sure you remember what’s in them.

If you have a bottle of lubricant, then sometimes taking the label off is enough to throw off any unwanted attention. If anyone does ask, you can say it’s hair gel or hand cream.

For the ultimate hiding spot though, take a finished bottle of something like shampoo or shower gel and clean it out. Then transfer your lube out of the original bottle into this one. Don’t put it in the usual place though, or someone might end up trying to wash their hair with your lube!

Now that you are aware of the ideal locations to hide your dildo, all you need is the dildo!  Head over to our full collection and find exciting selections to enhance your bedroom play. Whether it’s the softness of a silicone dildo you prefer or the firmness of a glass dildo, choose your favorite today!